Friday, March 8, 2013

LIVING FREE
My grandmother, Ada Brophy,
with her friend Miss Eileen Christianson
Living free can be a tricky bramble patch to negotiate. Last week I attributed my wake-up happiness to three things: no responsibilities; no bills; no work. This isn’t quite accurate. I do work – collaborating with Moira on her novel about me, SMALL WHITE DOG; seeing clients; going on lecture tours – but these are more like ‘interests’ than 'work'. Nowadays I can pay my own way but in the past I've had to rely on others' generosity.


My grandfather, Horace Russell, with his
friend George Ings (upper left).
If you're a human who's drawn to a carefree lifestyle and you're planning to make friends with rich humans such as the Queen or Donald Trump, keep in mind it's essential to have an easygoing disposition. This advice was passed down to me by my paternal grandparents, pictured above and right. They taught me to be patient, compliant and silently manipulative, essential skills for a pet.

Here are some useful pointers for those choosing this route:

  • Always do as you're told but use body language to convey disappointment, anxiety, bewilderment or sadness, while still remaining terribly sweet. Your owner will eventually be overwhelmed by guilt and sometimes do what you want.
  • When shopping or eating out, always reach for your wallet, even though you have nothing in it. Your owner mustn't feel they're taken for granted.
  • Tell your owner they look nice. If they ask specifically about their hair, for instance, be positive.

ALBUM OF THE WEEK
Love Songs for Everyone but Especially Uke by Kara Square
(A perfect gift for you, a friend or your owner.)

ADDENDUM
I'm aware that my squeaky toy, occasionally featured in my blog and on my Facebook page, has a growing fan base and I'm receiving 'More Monkey' mail. I must reiterate that Monkey is only a toy with an invented persona.

9 comments:

  1. Next I suppose you're going to tell me Mr. Monkey can't talk! But he can and does but only for believers. Your advice is spot on this week.

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    Replies
    1. No, I don't believe Monkey talks. He only squeaks through the means of his internal plastic squeaker. But I am happy that my toy is also a new friend for you and that you hear him speaking when others don't. I'm also happy that you think my advice is useful. This week I'll be writing about eating. Everyone likes eating (except Monkey).

      With affection

      Tony Russell

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  2. Again brilliant advices, Tony. If you ever come to Sweden on a lecture tour I'll certainly be there to listen. With your brilliant personality and extraordinalry skills, it would be no surprise if you're fluent in Swedish.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, Mr T. I do have a smattering of many languages, as I'm a dog who can read and write, but I don't speak any of them as well as you speak English. You speak it better than me and Moira. I'd like to be in Stockholm for the midsummer festival.

      With warm friendship

      Tony Russell

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    2. That's not true at all. For instance I don't know what "flabbergasted" means.

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  3. I do wish I were carefree enough to follow this excellent advice... But no, I must have more control than this... Thank you for sharing my album with your kind readership, Tony! Much of it was recorded with my dear kitty friend, Murmur, in the studio (either asleep on her cat bed which is on a guitar amp or on the desk next to the studio monitors... not the best place for a nap!).

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    Replies
    1. Although dogs and cats often don't have any practical input to a human's creative project, we do promote the right vibes, I feel. We create a friendly, relaxed atmosphere and what's nicer than that? I think you have a very open and engaging persona, Ms Kara, but you are too independent to be carefree by living off someone else!

      With deep affection

      Tony Russell

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  4. Hello my young friend .... beautiful sepia pictures yet, and also advises here, always illuminated .... and mischievous.
    You are smart enough for know how to put into practice the advice of your ancestors .... The best way to do well and succeed (^O^).

    Dan

    Note: Put me in your contacts, for I can receive and to share, your posts .... thank you in advance.

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  5. Merci pour votre gentil commentaire, M. Dan. Vous êtes très gentil et très sage. Quand je suis venu pour rester avec vous en France, nous aurons de nombreuses discussions intéressantes parce que je sais que je peux apprendre beaucoup de vous. Peut-on aussi des promenades avec vos autres amis canins?

    Avec affection et d'amitié

    Tony Russell

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