Friday, June 28, 2013


My client was still upset by the incident weeks later
Pet hates: What are they? Well, everyone has different criteria; or so you might think! My human clients repeatedly bring the same ones to me, albeit in diverse guises. 

Personal boundaries being pushed or ignored + feelings of powerlessness and insignificance = Pet Hates.

The teenager had an unruly mop
Example: My client couldn’t shed her anger over an incident that had happened weeks before. She’d arrived punctually for her hair appointment. Her stylist was working on a fidgety teenage boy, cutting his unruly mop into a trendier, shorter style while his chatty mother watched. 

When the stylist had finished, the boy looked at himself in lots of different mirrors and asked about coping with his new hair and styling preparations, while his mother followed him around and told him how handsome he looked.

A shorter, trendier style
By the time they’d moved into reception and paid, they’d taken up 20 minutes of my client’s appointment, which was further disrupted by the teenager coming back to ask the stylist yet again about how to use a pot of hair gel. 

There was barely an apology from the stylist for keeping my client waiting and she suspected her own cut was rushed because he was now running late.

What could my client have done to handle the situation?

  • Asked the receptionist to remind the stylist that his next appointment was waiting?
  • Complained directly to the stylist (risking a tense atmosphere and bad cut)?
  • Informed the stylist she couldn’t wait any longer and walked out?
  • Gone over to the mother and told her to put a sock in it and tipped the boy out of the chair saying, “My turn!”?

I would love to read your suggestions, so please use the comment box below. I’ll offer my own answer in my next post. Have a very happy, stress-free weekend!


I love watching Ina Garten's cookery programme when I'm in the States!

To Win My Heart by Dan-T (feat Patricia Edwards)

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  1. Hi Tony,
    What I do in similar situations is to look irritated but with a maintained mild voice simply ask: Why do I have to wait so long to give my money to your business? Followed by silence. It doesn't solve the problem but it feels good to enjoy the various reactions and replies and if feels very good afterwards.

    1. This is an excellent strategy, Mr T, and would certainly take the power back into your hands with that follow-up silence. Some of my clients may not have the confidence to attempt this one but I'm going to adopt it myself the next time I feel I'm having my 'chain yanked'!

      With warmest appreciation

      Tony Russell

  2. I like the first option: "Asked the receptionist to remind the stylist that his next appointment was waiting?"

    I also think Timberman's response is excellent. I really should try it.

    What do I usually do in these situations? Nothing at the time of the annoyance and then complain about it later and feel mistreated. I try to realize that other people's actions cannot be controlled by me and I should just move on... but... I get stuck on these things.

    Excellent song of the week by Dan-T and Patricia Edwards!

    1. You are not alone in avoiding confrontations, Ms Kara. Most sensible people dislike them as they can ruin your day, even if you feel you have handled a situation well. Stressful situations sap one's energy for more important things. It suits some personalities to simply 'step away'.

      With everlasting friendship

      Tony Russell

  3. Hmmm. . . . There's little hope of re-training mother and son to be more considerate. But if the haircutter can't find someone else to cater to the attention-starved teen or throw in a half off coupon to make up for the delay of your client's hair cut, probably best to find another salon than risk an 'instant replay' next time. Really enjoyed Dan-T & Patricia, too. All the best.

    1. The trouble is, Mr Mark, that the stylist is very good at what he does and would be hard to replace. My client has low self-worth and others take her at her own evaluation. Most humans would benefit from valuing themselves more.

      With great affection

      Tony Russell

  4. Bonjour mon jeune Ami ....

    I would be left without further ado, for to go elsewhere .... Because I know me, enough today ....I can not stand the Misconduct, lack knowing of how to live .... and therefore I could become very unpleasant ....
    Sometimes silence or erasure can be the greatest of contempt ....
    Aside from that, I hope everything goes well for you .... and if the opportunity presents itself, the garden door is wide open for to welcome thee but also for your sympathetic masters .... at condition of don'ts allergies to cats ....

    A bientôt mon petit Ami ....


    P.S: Thank you for choosing this song for this blog ....

    1. Pour s'éloigner de mauvaises manières et non retour est une stratégie très sensible, M. Dan. La mère du garçon est marié à un homme très riche et, comme nous le savons, les gens riches pensent que les règles habituelles de courtoisie ne s'appliquent pas à eux!

      Moira et j'aimerais vous rendre visite en France. Un jour, peut-être ...

      Avec la plus profonde affection et d'amitié

      Tony Russell

  5. I've missed the boat again? I've missed the boat. Is a month too late to reply? Anyway, my solution is to tell the stylist how wonderfully attentive he his and that is why I choose to go to him. I would tell him that I am looking forward to being looked after as well as spotty teen...and oh, by the way, I do hope spotty teen and mom gave him an appropriately enormous tip! Then sit back and enjoy the extra attention.....or just tell him to F off if that doesn't work.